Here is a post she put on her blog about McKenzee...
My Rosebud
The first day we walked into Chenzhou we were taken into the baby room. I skipped over the babies in the cribs and went straight to a few that were sitting in bouncy seats. Hooked up to IV's. I was immediately drawn to one tiny girl in particular. As soon as I talked to her, her face broke into a big grin that just lit up the room. She was adorable.
After we had spent awhile in the baby room that first day, I was trying to identify certain children that were matched with families. They took me back down to this particular room to meet one of the little girls.
While there I learned more about my little smiley face. She was 11 months old and had been pre-mature. She looked absolutely perfect to me.
Later in the day I was able to hold her. Just a tiny peanut, a wiggly little thing! She was not able to sit up yet, seemed much younger than 11 months. But she sure tried! If you lay her on her back, she would try to push up, so strong.
In those first few days I spent much time getting pictures of all the babies and holding different ones. Sometimes we would see different ones in the mornings, than in the afternoons. We each settled in with "our babies". Drawn to certain ones for certain reasons, or maybe them drawn to us too.
I had one that had the best kissable cheeks, we called her bright eyes. She has a great personality, very sweet. And then I had my smiley face. Typically they ended up there at different times.
Till a few days in, when they simply brought smiley face to me. And she and I, we just clicked. Yes it helped that she was absolutely adorable, in fact she is a beautiful baby with perfect skin and bright eyes. TINY features, her lips are like a rosebud. And it helps that she is HAPPY! She has the BEST giggles! No matter what when you look at her, she smiles at you. I like happy! I like EASY! ;-) Don't I DESERVE easy??
That was a joke.
On Sunday afternoon the directors and nannies took us shopping. You have not been China shopping till you get the privilege of going with the Chinese Grandmas! We went as a group to an embroidery shop and a jewelry store. Then it was off to buy our donations. We bought them 2 air conditions for the orphanage, per their choice. Then they wanted to take us shopping for a computer. For them, not us. I sent the group back to the hotel and Tammy stayed with me.
They took us down a an alley to the back door of the computer shop. Typical Chinese warehouse shopping. We were able to buy them the "best" computer with the remaining funds of our donation. Thanks to all who helped with that!
From there we thought we were heading back to the hotel but they then offered to take us shopping. For baby clothes. They knew we loved the squeaky shoes. Being that it was Tammy & I, 2 who LOVE to shop, of course we said yes! We figured it would be rude to say no to the director and all. We each decided we were going to shop for " our baby".
It took awhile to find Rosebud a dress. She is SO tiny. And while it was not the angelic fufu dress I had in mind, the direct pointed it out so I had to say yes! Those 3 ladies, they sure can bargain! All we could do was laugh as they argued with the shopkeepers. Hilarious!
The next day when I came in, they were ready for me to dress my tiny Rosebud! I so enjoyed doing that, changing diapers, dressing her up. I was so sad though not to have a big old hairbow. What was I think coming over here with babies and no hairbow! ;-) Next time.
I think I said this is my post yesterday, but as the clock got closer to 11, the tears started. I was sitting with some of the nannies, and had to get up so as not to embarrass myself!
As my tears covered her little head, I whispered prayers into her tiny ears. I prayed that the Lord would protect her, she is so super tiny. Give her strength. Let her keep her smile even though her days never EVER change. It was soon time to go and I was just a mess. The director walked out with us and said we could come back early, I could tell she felt bad that I was so upset.
When we were with the older kids in the afternoon, one of the nannies carried Rosebud into me. Tammy made a face at her, teasingly, and asked where "her" baby was. The nanny pointed at me and showed tears running down her face.
I had to wonder, when we walked in that first morning, what do the nannies think? Do they assume we are just a "bunch of Americans trying to make themselves feel better by doing a good deed?" They seemed a bit weary of us, cautious on our first morning. But by day 2, they were leaving us in the room alone with children. And by day 5, I think they realized, we love those babies. We really do care about the children. And we care about them!
It was said to me before this trip, how is it a mission trip when all you are doing is working with kids.
Obviously, those people have never done anything like this.
Nor do they understand James 1:27.
This is not an easy trip. It costs a whole lot of money. And time. It took much sacrifice for us to even get here. Yes, we stayed in a hotel vs a grass hut. But we have not been super comfortable. We walk back and forth to the orphanage every day. In the heat. We are playing with kids who are not dressed in their Sunday best. There is a smell about us everywhere we go. Babies take work at times, rocking, feeding, making them happy. Kids, they are CRAZY! We can't get control by saying sit down, they don't understand a word we say!
I feel sorry for those who thought this way. Not only have we lived out James 1:27, we have gone into all of the world. We have tried to shine a light to so many through our actions, through our words if possible.
It has been exhausting. I have never been so tired for such a long period of time.
I would not change a thing. Every fundraiser we did, every ounce of energy I have used, was worth it. I would do it again in heartbeat.
And so back to my Rosebud. When we were leaving last night they wanted my email. And they wrote down that I was Yi Qiao's mama (Sage) and then wrote Rosebud next to that.
Am I her mama? Could I be? WOULD I be?
It is so easy when here to get wrapped up in all the emotions. I joked that if I could just put her in my suitcase I would. And I really would have! Could you just imagine Mark's face when I walked off the plane? SURPRISE!!
He would be ready to kill me. Till he held her in HIS arms and saw her smile.
Then I am certain he would have ran home with her as fast as he could.
I have no idea what will happen with my little Rosebud. It was hard to get a clear answer on if she would be going out as healthy or special needs. She is so tiny and seems developmentally behind. More like a newborn. Which I realize is very normal for an orphanage. If she is not listed as special needs, I would not even have a chance.
But if she is?? I believe the Lord will make that clear to Mark and to me. Part of this trip for me was clarity. You may remember on my family blog awhile back, I know the Lord has been stirring my heart. Just not sure what for.
I believe I am getting closer to hearing Him.
But one thing I DO know for sure. My little Rosebud will forever be a part of my heart.
And this is why I refer to her as McKenzee's angel, because at least I know me baby received unconditional love and attention for the little time they were there. Here are some pictures of McKenzee that were taken during Shannon's Mission Trip.
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| McKenzee's Angel - Shannon |
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| McKenzee's Birthday Celebration |
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| McKenzee First Birthday Thank You Shannon for making my Baby's First Birthday so Special. We will always be eternally grateful for the Grace of God and the Kindness in your heart for all the children in Chenzhou Orphanage |
Shelley, Paul, and Family,
ReplyDeleteMcKenzee is a beautiful little girl. We are so happy for all of you, and can't wait to meet the newest addition to your family, soon!!!
Love, Dan and Bernadette Spinuzzi